I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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