Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
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