bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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