just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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