areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
