would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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