I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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