I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
