You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
