It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
