i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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