To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
