Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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