I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
