Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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