After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
