Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
