evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
