Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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