Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
