I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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