I want to walk on stilts...naked
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
BRING THE BAGELS
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
