Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
