Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize