im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
