Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
