as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
