Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
