he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize