I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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