Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My hand turned me down
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
