Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
