$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
