Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I have already put on my inside pants.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
