I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
