Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
