I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
