This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
