heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
