I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
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