three words: i give head
three words: not that well
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
