So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
