i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
MIDGETS
????
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
