Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Help. Why am I so naked?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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