Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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