So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
