just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
