Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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