Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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