You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I forget how to act sober
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
