thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
