I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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