Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
