More tranny stories later!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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