Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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