I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
