i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
