just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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