He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
