I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
