I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I AM VODKA MAN
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
