if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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