You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
