Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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