My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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