I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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