I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
