im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
it was like eating out sand paper
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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