Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Your cock deserves a montage
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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